An Active Relationship

Many if not most of us can often question God’s participation in our lives. Especially during moments or seasons of turmoil or trial, we cry out to God to save us, to heal us, to modify our circumstances, or the behaviors of those around us so that we, personally, can be happier, more content, or have peace.

Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1 NIV

O Lord, why do you stand so far away? Why do you hide when I am in trouble?Psalm 10:1 NLT

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.Psalm 13:1-4 NLT

King David often felt the same way. Because God wasn’t physically standing at his side, David frequently “felt” as though God had abandoned him during the most tumultuous times. But those were his feelings, and David knew that they were not valid. He knew God was there even when God didn’t seem to manifest Himself in David’s life.

But then, as David went through the process of writing his poems of distress, it almost always resulted in God calling into memory all the things He had done for David over his lifetime, so that David couldn’t help but turn the corner in that same poem and finish with:

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.Psalm 13:5-6 NIV

This is frequently the effect of our prayers, as the process of crying out to God will bring us peace when we allow ourselves to remember how good God is, and all the ways He has cared for and loved us up to that point.

But when we’re in the midst of turmoil, why does God seem to be “hiding” from us? Why does He seem so far away, and why doesn’t He give us the very things we ask for so that we can be happy, content, and peaceful?This question brings to mind a most popular “not-quite-a-poem” that has hung on the walls of countless homes since the 1970s called Footprints. It’s short, so just in case you’ve never come across it, let me share it with you here:

One night I dreamed a dream. As I was walking along the beach with my Lord, across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints. This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it. 

"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you. Never, ever. During your trials and testing, when you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
 

I think this captures beautifully the truth that God desires to walk with us through everything. When we are in a true relationship with God, it is not a one-way street. It is not just us walking our Christian walk, following Jesus, singing songs, reading our Bibles and going to church. We went all-in because Jesus promised that, “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age Matthew 28:20b” and He reminds us to be “strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go Joshua 1:9.”

God promised to be with us, always and forever. So this relationship we have is not just us looking up all the time, but rather it’s Him having come down to be in relationship with us:

“I am the living bread that came down from heaven.” John 6:51 NIV

For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him. John 3:17 NASB

“The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the baby to be born will be holy, and he will be called the Son of God. Luke 1:35 NLT

I’ve elsewhere discussed how a personal relationship involves not just presence, but interaction. A relationship that involves only conversation or has active participation by only one party is not personal. It is or becomes, by its nature, a transactional relationship, or rather, a relationship of circumstance. We all normally have a number of relationships of this nature, be them work-related or activity-based, which typically include our extended families or neighbors. Such circumstantial relationships would quickly fall off if either of us stopped that activity or left the locale that caused us to come together in the first place. As we move from one social circle to another, and over time, we casually separate from the old “friends” and make new ones.

But in a personal relationship, be it with a close friend or family member, we both actively participate in one another’s lives. Through communication and presence, we have a physical, emotional, and spiritual impact on each other. We enjoy sharing our lives together, and there is genuine cooperation and interaction. Personal relationships involve active love, whereby we demonstrate our affection for one another by the way we give of ourselves to the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of that very relationship.

God so much wanted a personal relationship with us that He decimated the very barriers that prevented us from doing so.

But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation. Colossians 1:22

For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Romans 5:10

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

This means that, since God has done all of this work so that He may be near to us, we can be confident that He is always very close indeed, even when He feels far away. And knowing that God seeks to have an active relationship with us, why would He not actively participate in our lives? It is illogical to think, if only for a moment, that we’re the ones doing all the heavy-lifting in this relationship.

God is not that “friend” we’ve all had that only shows up when they want something, never lending a hand when we’re the ones in need. On the contrary, it is very much, for many of us, the other way around. God is always right there in the thick of it with us, even when we don’t sense His presence, even when we don’t see Him acting. Even when we are just sitting in a puddle crying because we fell down, asking God to dive in and save us when all it would take is for us to stand up.

It is at those most difficult times when, instead of crying out to God, “Where are you?” that we should more appropriately pray in earnest, “God, I know you are near me, but I have withdrawn into myself so that I can no longer feel your presence! Help me to unclench my fists, open my eyes and open my arms so that I may draw near to you.”

For whenever we are feeling that God is far off, and we just don’t feel like He really cares, we must know unwaveringly that . . .

He wasn’t the one who moved.

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:22-23 NIV